Entering the world - the buddist way

I always knew there will be times when I'm gonna have to close my eyes(mouth?) and say 'well, the bugger is half chinese...'

This is one of those.

Traditionally, Thai or Chinese kids(in Thailand) shave their babies head and EYEBROWS(!!!!) after they've passed the first month. S - Day is chosen carefully based on mom/dad/baby's chinese horoscope.

Ours turned out to be 14th of March...truly a good day, as Andrei was quiet as a puppet and slept through most of it.

After the first eyebrow...Mom managed to calm down / grab the camera.








And when he woke up...:))

I'm told this is the secret in acquiring one of those great dense Chinese buns and thick gorgeous eyebrows.

Being a parents is such a trial and error experience....You find something that works one day, and the next day you something else pops up or the same solution doesn't work anymore.

Take breastfeeding for instance...How the heck it comes so natural to all the other mammals but us?...read any baby book and you'll find out a list of 50 things that could go wrong. I always thought I'll be this cool mom and that all this stuff is just a matter of instinct. Took me about a month to actually learn to hold Andrei properly...
Then there's the problem of the actual milk...I thought: "Hey, bring the kiddo to the breast..job done!! It works for all other mammals." Not for human cubs! They need to get the rich sleep-inducing milk that comes after the poor kid has been suckling for at least 10 min/breast..Trouble is, human cubs are such sleepy heads..so if you let them fall asleep, they wake up within an hour screaming their hearts out for food, not to mention that the foremilk(the watery one) taken in excess causes gas like you can't believe!...Add it all up...these guys basically feed for 30 min - 1 hour at a time...7 times a day (now, before 9-10)..you do the math.

However, once you've figured it out, bfeeding is a great bonding experience and nothing beats 'liquid gold'.:)

Un Elefant

You realize guys, we are absolutely charmed with our bundle. If you are a parent yourself - you understand, if not - you'll get there!!! Same Same will swing somewhere between parenting and the occasional trip...

Until the summer, when we're packing our troubles and going to Romania, enjoy a video of our son. You'll also notice that I'm on a mission to get him at least bilingual. Ake is in charge of the Thai and the grandparents and chatting away in a mixed chinese-thai. I would be curious to know what he's thinking listening to all of us yapping in so many languages!!!

So, here it is, Andrei now 2 months and a half - still a very happy kid!

Going out...
Just realized we haven't uploaded any photos with our new (well, now 8 mths old) car. We needed something we could drive around in Northen Thailand with the kiddo. This Toyota Vigo does the trick. Does really well on gas consumption too!!!

So there we are in the park. The minute we got there the kid got hungry and then slept through the whole 'let's learn about trees' experience. He was out for just about 2 hours including crossing a busy market on foot on our way back. We got home, open the door to our bedroom, and quietly put him down in his crib. Sure enough enough in 2 minutes he was up screaming. Didn't I tell you babies do really good outdoors!!..see what I mean!

Before sunrise he is your son...

1 - Haven't slept more than 3 hours in a stretch for 2 months now...and now, me and Andrei are pretty much left alone for the night feedings......this is what happens people: the sleep conquers even the most excited of dads. Once in a while though I feel (and do) like waking Ake up (' Darling, get me a glass of water!'). I have developed though the unbelievable ability of falling asleep in seconds literally.

2 - Babies are great travel companions. Maybe not all, but ours is..said the proud mom :). We haven't exactly traveled, but going out here and there has been excellent. In fact all the entertaining we have to do at home is replaced by all the NEW. He's puts on the most curious of faces for hours and seems to be ignoring us most of the time, unless he gets hungry of course... Where at home we have ' mommy let's play! daddy hold me!' , when we're on the go the kiddo entertains himself. What a puppet!

3 - We bought a breast pump...BEST 3000 bath (60 euro) we ever spent! This way grandma and granpa get to play while mommy is at work and Andrei keeps getting moms sleep inducing milk. (It's true! Human milk contains this protein that induces sleep...No wonder the kiddies can barely stay awake for an entire feed.)

4 - Mom's postparthum challenge: getting back to a decent weight. I put on 20 kilos folks. Sounds a lot, but most women actually put on pretty much around 20. 2 months after birth I still feel very 'motherish' in size...Second day after birth I was shocked : I'd lost ONLY...r u ready? Only 4 kilos!!!! Two months after birth now and I lost 12...That's probably only water or some kind of fuild. Do the math folks. I'm left with 8 kilos of PURE FAT. Starting swimming very soon though!

5 - One a different note. Great entertainment and directing! www.bmwfilms.com

Dowload and watch Clive Oven in THE HIRE series. several short films, by top directors, sort of short stories involving a driver (CO) and naturally his BMW. Wong Kar Wai's THE FOLLOW is especially beautiful and Guy Ritchie's THE STAR really fun.

5 - Enjoy the photos..Andrei now 2 months old.

Blood Diamond

Thanks to those darling granparents that are ever so ready to care for the little guy, we managed to get away for couple of hours and ran to the nearest cinema.TWICE!:)

(that electric breast pup we bought is priceless!!!)

A big impact movie, Blood Diamond...worth every penny we spent...Djimon Hounsou fab! Di Caprio very good also! I hope though Djimon gets the Oscar.

Not to mention that is directed by the same guy who did Legends of the Fall and The Last Samurai. Not to miss in my opinion!

Babel

Very good, but of a paler shade than Blood Diamond...sort of softer and very well done. I was anxiously waiting to see this one cause I loooved 21 GRAMS, Inaritu's previous movie.

I didn't get one thing though...everything was connected in the end apart from one character ...Santiago. Or maybe it all hangs in the 2nd hunting photo of the Japanese guy. Not sure...

Anyhow, back to being mommy...and my 3 favorite things:

- nursing quitely in the night (if I'm well rested , it's magic time)

- napping next to the little one during the day

- cuddling after a morning feed (pop in the Ipod and lay in our swinging chair for hours)

Still loving it...

Being a mom is great! Not great,... amazing!! And is especially good when everything is smooth and everyone is well rested and we all spend quality time together.

I take FULL credit for that! The not being dog-tired part...We worked on building a sort of flexible routine for Andrei, getting he's little tummy used to meal times....We eat/ we play/ we sleep. THAT, my friends is THE SECRET. Try we eat / we sleep / we play and you have a gassy baby. Make sense though! Eat, then sleep is no good for us, so why should it be for a baby? Naturally parents are all too excited about their precious bundle sleeping after a feed, that no one actually attempts to keep the little one awake. It was a bit tricky. I kept telling people, the hardest thing during the day is to keep Andrei awake and they looked at me like I'm nuts. :)

Night sleeping...

This was us - week 1 and 2:

Carmen nurses Andrei to sleep. Slowly raising herself from the chair, she eases toward the crib. While holding her breath she gently lowers the precious bundle and allows herself to smile. Then frozen, she awaits for peace to settle over the crib. All sounds good, so tiptoeing toward the door she slowly opens the door. What will it be? Freedom or failure? Hoping to escape, she knows that if Andrei fusses is "take it from the top" time.

I'm pretty sure most all first time parents start out like this. It's quite funny actually, how frozen you can be, praying for everyone to be absolutely still, so the little bugger would fall asleep.

Us - now:

Again, our flex routine does magic...The bugger is tired enough and just about ready for slumberland by 8, and doesn't need mommy rocking him to sleep...Well, that took a bit of getting used to...

Sleeping like a baby...:)

Being a family..

Okay, we had some hardcore nights! What can I say, ROOKIES! :)))
It's just that human cubs are so helpless, and that is their greatest survival skill. Naturally all parents find their baby irresitable, and we're no different...but the parenting road is full of SPOIL ME traps...

So, it was hard ..and now it's getting easier....As 3 week old parents we set ourselves some healthy guidelines:

1. Andrei needs to be a part of the family NOT the center of it. Keep mom, dad and baby happy. (This is the best thing I've learned. Baby happy and at the center of things is the sure way to 2 ragged parents and eventually an unhappy kid).

2. It's OKAY to let baby cry...Eventually is only for couple of minutes. Instant gratification is no good.
Early days he got used to being held and cuddled most of the time. Nasty habbit! And the little buggers get attached to the good life so quickly...We had to unlearn that!:)

3. Stay close to a flexible routine...Life is soooo much easier with a baby when we can predict at least part of our day...

Ohh...and we loooove BATH TIME WITH DADDY!!!

Thais love nicknames...



A : He's cute...What's his name?
Ake: Han-Ming.
A : It's Chinese. What's his Thai name?
Ake: Nope, just Han -Ming. And Andrei, the romanian name.
A: How about a nickname?
Ake: he he...sorry, no nick name. Just Andrei Han-Ming.
A: Ohhh...:(

On Postparthum Depression

I read loads of books on babies and pregnancy and one thing I couldn't understand was being depressed after delivery. Why would you? I was so ready to pop, so anxious to see the little guy..9 months was a long wait.
Doctors explain postparthum depression as a sudden hormone level drop. Anyhow, I never thought I'd even come close to feeling depressed...dog tired, YES...missing my care free life before baby, YES...but not depressed.

Here's how it hit me. First there's the awe of birth which lasts for few days. Then I ACTUALLY started missing having a tummy (weird, but I did) and feeling the kicks and the movements..that was on the outside, but really, my son and I were no longer ONE.
They say newborns do not realize they are a separate being from their mother, until the later months, and when they do, the letting go happens in tears...same thing goes for moms!!!...and most of them as we all know, NEVER LET GO. Three words: MOTHER IN LAW.

I know now how my dad felt when I got married.

Just a quick note on a very very busy diaper day and couple more snap shots of Andrei.

I'm doing this spa for moms...a Thai traditional thing which is absolutely fantastic. This lady comes everyday to our place and for about 5 hours (without bfeeding and diaper change breakes) it's full on massage/ sauna / oil rubb / aromateraphy / herbal presses and some special tummy massage to readjust the uterus...my tummy is nearly gone!!!:)

Birth of Andrei Han-Ming

Due date: 28th of December

I was having contractions the previous day when I picked my parents from the airport, nice steady ones, every 6 min, then the mucus came out ('the show' - which means labour could start within hours or days). Good sign! So, on the 28th, Ake basically said, 'Ok, I know the doctor said he might be late, but I just wanna go and have you checked out.'
28 December
1 pm
So off we go on the 28th at noon to BNH Hospital to find that I was actually in latent labour and didn't know it. 2 cm dilated. The doc was very reassuring and nice and told us we should definetly check in. I was gonna deliver probably tomorrow am.

Now, the labour suites at BNH are just fantastic, huge plasma screen TV, aromteraphy, exercise ball, mats, pillows, and at my request, a birth stool(a kind of a metal frame which allows you to sit on like you would on a toilet).

6 pm
We relaxed for hours, having KIT KAT and green tea and watching movies on HBO. And some of my favorites too, Lord of war..Anyhow, for hours now I was having contractions every 10 min. At 6, a nurse came to check me out. ONLY 3 cm dilated...I progressed JUST 1 cm in 5 hours...(for those who don't have kids - giving birth happens at 10 cm)...A nice progress is 1 cm / hour and I was dragging on...

From 6 pm onwards contractions started to pick up and by 10 pm I was having full on strong contractions, every 3 min.

11 pm
The doctor comes to check me out. I'm thinking I would be 6-7 cm by now, but bad news, JUST 4 cm...The trouble is, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HURT at just 4 cm!!! What the heck I'm gonna do at 10 cm, then...I keep rocking on the ball, doing my yoga breathing and chant with Ake 'Breathe, let the pain goooo!Breeeeathe!'...

I'd progressed 2 cm in 10 hours...that's slower then a pregant snail!

Around 11 pm I had this urge to go to the bathroom..and there was the most painfull 2 min of my life when my waters broke in a gush and I screamed my heart out.AGONY!!..Ake confessed later, THAT was the moment he was really scared.

Strangely enough, the contractions don't get stronger and I find it easier and easier to cope with...rocking on the ball, and pressing my back while in stir-ups really works, while I discover that laying down in bed in THE WORST thing to do.

MIDNIGHT

Doc comes again, and SUPRISE, I'm now 9 cm. I went from 4 to 9 in one hour... This is GREAT GREAT GREAT NEWS. I got such an energy boost...Ake keeps rubbing my back telling me, were nearly there...

1 am

I'm starting to feel the urge to push and make a run for the birth stool...Doc comes in and tells Ake in Thai, this might be couple of hours for a first time mom, so stay cool...Pushing is easy...in fact, getting to bloody 4 cm was the hardest part...and as the nurses slowly get ready, with Ake coaching me to push, OOOPS, THE HEAAAAD IS OUT!! I catch Andrei's head in my hands and push the whole body out. What a feeling! I caught my baby. And it's a little Ake!...My legs are shaking, I start crying with joy while the nurses are running for gloves. Andrei is in my hands crying his heart out. Go ahead son, work out those lungs!

Baby taking care of, and I lay down on the bed to get the placenta out. I'd push so hard that I have muscle spasms in my legs, but no urge to push...half an hour and the doctor can't get the placenta out through massage, cause I'm not relaxed. Luckily I know Thai, cause she says to Ake "were gonna have to prep her for surgery!" WHAT? No way. Not when I've come this far. I'm not letting any scalpel touch me now...I signal to the doctor 'Let me have one more push.' Hurray, the placenta comes out! I'm done!!!!

Sure, I have a 3rd degree tear, but those love hormones we're supposed to have in huge quantaties at birth are really really working. I can't feel anything but pure joy and sheer happiness!

Birth is fantastic!

Following...Postparthum Thoughts

And ... the baby
Our finest moment...29th of December, 1:07 am...the birth of our son, Andrei Han-Ming.
We had the birth of our dreams...story to follow soon...
1:07

and the following hours...


it's mom's milk...but daddy wants a go at feeding...

Strawberries, almonds, yoghurt and raisins

My new favorite thing...The fantastic weather in Thailand these days (clear skies, 24 C) have brought the strawberry season...At 3-4 euros a kilo it's such a bargain...Mix'em up with some almods, plain yoghurt and few raisins to replace pure sugar..DELICIOUS!
This is one thing I love about Thailand. If you wanna eat healthy food, you can easily aford it..in fact, it's probably cheaper than the junk option.


Our little boy takes his time...At our last check-up he was 3,500 and as the doctor says quite a long baby...We went thourgh our family history to find out who's to 'blame' for such a basketball player. It's Ake's granddad, a 190 cm chinese man!!! Since neither myself or Ake are really tall, it would be funny to have our boy turned teen overtaking us in height...

Anyhow, doctors orders were clear: WE SORT OF NEED TO ENCOURAGE THIS KIDDO TO COME OUT...Spicy food is supposed to do that...so whenever it's not strawberries, it's curry!!! I've had buckets of curry since, but no dice! In fact, he seems to enjoy the combination of flavours...

Back soon....

Birth Story - Bangkok

So I knew that Thai policemen are trained in delivering babies, but never actually thought it often comes to that. Well, it happened to a friend of Ake's family.

The woman got stuck in traffic(and in Bangkok that may mean, your car is moving literally few metres an hour), the taxi driver panicked and grabbed the first policeman he saw. The guy was very reassuring and said with a huge smile:'No worries, Mam. This is my 8th delivery on the streets of Bangkok!" I'll spare you the details, but basically, within an hour the baby was out. And where in Bangkok? In the most crowded spot in the entire city, Victory Monument, where you basically have to fight your way through. Naturally, when it was all over, the ambulance arrived as well...

This one was great to hear as my little one is ready to pop any day now...